All the Single Ladies

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

The single (not really) girls guide to long distance relationships

The world we live in is a global one. Right now, you are sitting comfortably( I hope) at home reading words that I have written God knows how many miles away. It's fairly fantastic.

This does mean that you are, likely as not, going to experience some form of long distance relationship in your life time.

That's what I am doing now. Which is because, needless to say, Old Flame and I are doing well. We are, relationshiping in fact. But, he lives about four hours away from me, so it is a relationship unlike any I've had before.

Here are some tips I've learned.

Technology is your friend. Texting, phoning, instant messaging and Webcamming are all your friends (get you minds outta the gutter). This world is global for a reason. Technology will help you with your budding romance.

Conversation has to be a big part of the relationship. I gotta say, I love this part. I love the sound of my own voice, and the idea that words and language are making our relationship possible appeals to me greatly.

I'm lucky, mine is more of a middle distance relationship than a long one. Four hours is short enough that I can visit on a monthly basis. But no matter the distance, visit when you can. And when you are visiting. Revel in it. It's a special time for you two-- now this doesn't mean you should ignore problems or pretend everything is perfect if it isn't, just remember you don't get to hold your fella everyday, so enjoy it when you can.

Let the good outweigh the frustrations. Yes, it is frustrating that when he has a bad day, I can't be there to try and make it better. Or that after talking half the night on the phone I can't have a goodnight kiss. But! It's also freeing to do my own thing without guilt that I am ignoring him. And kinda reassuring that he is doing the same. It's also nice to exercise the kinda trust that a long distance relationship requires and to feel it returned.

Don't make it forever. It is only going to get harder, so make plans. I am. Hoping for a future can do a lot to keep the present in perspective.

SOOOOOO. To summarize. I miss him sometimes, but I would rather miss a guy that's right for me than sit next to one who is wrong for me everyday of the week. My experience is that with the right guy, it's not quite as hard as it first seems to be.