My last relationship was a turbulent one. My first adult relationship, and the first time I dived head first into love, lost myself in it. It was terrifying. Even during the good times I felt like my pulse was racing all the time. What if I wasn't myself when I came up for air?
In the process of the relationship, 11 months of ups and downs, love and hate, sex and screaming I learned a lot about myself. He could bring out the worst in me. Now that it's over, and I've seen that worst, I made some promises to myself, both about the break up and about the person that I want to be. I am going to post them here so that I am, at least to a degree, accountable for them.
Promises about him (Lets call him asshat)
1: I promise not to follow his blog, there is no relief there, only his anger.
2: I promise it won't hurt forever and that there is nothing wrong with me just because it does now.
3: I promise we loved each other. He can't take that from me, even though he tries to take it from himself.
4: I promise to learn from this. My next love will benefit from the mistakes we made.
5: There is no need to talk to him anymore. If I don't want to, I won't.
Promises about me:
1: I promise to love who I chose, no one can tell me what I feel.
2: I promise to remember who my friends are, they are my rock and my strong place.
3: I promise to forgive always. Those who wrong me and MYSELF.
4: I promise to move on from failure. Failure today does not mean failure tomorrow.
5: I promise to remember I am beautiful, inside and out. That beauty does not rely on what anyone thinks of me.
6: I promise to work on my temper. All that screaming was not ok. I'm an adult, I should act like one.
7: I promise I will go to Venice someday. I'll get lost and for once I won't be scared of it.