All the Single Ladies

Friday, July 16, 2010

Denial or Confidence?

Screw this.

I'm going to get him back. I care about him so much after such a little time, I can't just let him go. I know that he has decided. But I decide something too, I decide that I don't want to cut this relationship off at the knees.

We were in the honeymoon of the relationship, where everything feels exciting and new and your learning about each other. It's a great time and important to the relationship. But it isn't what defines one. Its the snags and how you handle them. I don't want to run, I know he is scared of something, I don't know what. I have tons of theories, because well, I'm a girl. We theorize. But here is my hope, my goal if you will. I want to convince him not to act on that fear. I want to get him to trust me that a relationship will me is not a trap.

Most of the time I believe I can do it.

Some of the time, I think about how little sense him breaking up with me made. And I think, was it just an excuse. Does he actually not like me that much and he just didn't want to hurt my feelings. He is a good guy, so maybe he just couldn't bare to say to me, "Audry5000 you're cool and all, but I don't LIKE you like you."

I think of this and I would cry like a baby. Except I cried out too many tears and I don't have anymore left for the day, so my face just scruncies up really ugly. It's very flattering.

There is another part of me. The one that recognizes I have to respect him. I can't stalk him, I can't bug him. So, basically, I get one chance. I am going to present my case. Try not to cry while I do... and then it's in his court. Hopefully it's enough, I don't know. I hope so.

Also, dating sucks.

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